Desperate Christians Part 3

My Christian email correspondent from last week; the one I thought had cut and run, is back. I think somehow he believes that I need “saving” so he sent me the the following bit of Christian “wisdom” in a really large font size:

HE IS GOD!!! GOD changed the status of David from a shepherd boy to king of Israel , Esther from a slave girl to a Queen and Joseph from a prisoner to the first (and only foreigner to become) Prime Minister of Egypt . That same God will give you a new designation very soon in Jesus name. In chemistry he turned water to wine, in biology he was born without the normal conception, in physics he disapproved the law of gravity when he ascended into heaven, in economics he disapproved the law of diminishing return by feeding 5000 men with two fishes & 5 loaves of bread, in history he is the beginning & the end, in Government he said that he shall be called wonderful counselor, prince of peace, in religion he said no one comes to the father except through him so who is he.(JESUS). Join me and lets
celebrate him, he is worthy BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous,
AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ….but JESUS saves…don’t delete
spread info 2 every living soul in your list. Heavenly Father, Most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a family is more than just a mother and father, sister and brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in you Father, I send up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in you, is more powerful than anything. I thank you in advance for your blessings. Father GOD, deliver the person reading this right now
from debt and debt burdens. Release your Godly Wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that YOU have called me to be in my financial Blessings. Father, for Stars don’t struggle to shine, Rivers don’t struggle to flow,also you will never struggle to excel in life, because you deserve the best, hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you…Amen. The eyes beholding this message shall not behold evil, the hand that will send this message to others shall not labor in vain, the mouth saying amen to this prayer shall laugh forever, remain in God’s love. THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NOT PROTECT YOU”. I SEE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENING TO YOU TODAY. SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO EXPERIENCE. THIS IS NOT A JOKE; YOU ARE GOING TO RECEIVE A DIVINE VISITATION THAT WILL MOVE YOUR LIFE FORWARD MIGHTILY BY THE OUTWORKING OF GOD’S UNSTOPPABLE POWER. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN; SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF SEVEN PEOPLE INCLUDING THIS SENDER. YOU ARE BLESSED BEYOND ALL CURSES IN JESUS’ NAME!

My response as usual, was scathing. And I did promise to post it on my blog:

Ah, my religious friend is back. Good afternoon to you, sir. I thought you had cut and run after your last discussion with me. BIG UP to you “brother”, you sure are a sucker for punishment.

Firstly, there is no need to use a large font size in your mails to me. Although I wear spectacles, I can read normal and smaller font sizes. In the world of electronic mailing, using large fonts is known as shouting at your recipients. It means that you are angry with them for some reason. Perhaps I’ve given you reason to shout at me, because I’m a smug bastard who likes taking the Mickey out of poor delusional theists (fools) like yourself. Anyway, now that we have e-mail etiquette out of the way, let’s turn to your latest absurd attempt at convincing me that God/Jesus/Holy
Ghost/Yahweh/pie-in-the-sky/whatever exists.

With reference to the first two paragraphs of this assault on intelligence: Except for these ludicrous claims appearing in that classic fairy-tale called the bible, where is your scientific proof that Jesus:
turned water to wine
was born without the
normal conception
ascended into heaven (do you have the stellar address for this place called heaven)
fed 5000 men with two fishes & five loaves of bread

Incidentally, the word “disapproved” as in “he disapproved
the law of gravity” means, according to the English dictionary “to give a
negative judgment of something based on personal standards”. Synonyms for
disapproved are condemn, censure, criticize, dislike, object to, frown on,
reject. What are you trying to say here: that Jesus condemned, objected to or
frowned on the laws of gravity. Very strange person, that Jesus chap.

“BEWARE: LUV disappoints, SARS is dangerous, AIDS is real, BOOZE intoxicates, DRUGS kill ….but JESUS saves”

No my friend, Jesus does not save, neither does God, for they don’t exist….only in your imagination maybe. What you really need to beware off is irrational beliefs in Gods and fairies and goblins, and the trash written in books like the bible. And beware people who peddle this rubbish. There is only one source of power in the world, and that is an unencumbered mind. A free mind, thinking rational and logical thoughts is more powerful than all the gods you think exist. Try it, free yourself. I am “saved” already…

Evolution is alive and well, and happening. People who have abandoned religion and other superstitious nonsense and growing their minds, are evolving to become better people. Those who cling onto religion and fear are doomed to extinction. It is only a matter of time before this irrational belief in religion is eradicated. The signs are strong that the younger generations are slowly but surely moving away from religion.

Oh, and by the way, as requested, I am sending this to a minimum of 7 people. I will go further though and post it to my blog as well.