New Year already tainted by religious madness

We’re barely into the second week of 2013 and already people who are inspired by religion (men usually) are showing how utterly insane it all is.

A mayor from Aceh, Indonesia is proposing a ban on women straddling bicycles and motorcycles when riding pillion. The idiot from Lhokseumawe by the name of Suaidi Yahya believes that it will save [*cough] the virtue of women and prevent them from breaking Islamic Sharia law [*grrrrrr]. This asshole still thinks that woman are “delicate creatures,” and require protection from the men, religious one’s off course.

In 2009, the neanderthals from Aceh also banned woman from wearing jeans and tight trousers. What a bunch of silly tossers, defending archaic religious laws pulled out their ass by other silly tossers.

Staying on this silly side of the world, another religiously inspired cretin, a self-styled Indian guru from India caused an uproar when he made a statement partly blaming the young female student who was gang-raped, for the atrocious incident. The imbecilic guru who goes by the name of Bapu, believes that the drunken bastards who raped this woman, would not have gone through with it, if the woman had begged for mercy and pleaded with god [*Bapu's personal flavour of god no doubt] for help.

If that is not the most patriarchal, misogynist, religiously vile claptrap I have ever heard, I don’t know what is. Bapu should be put on trial with rest of the male scum who perpetrated this vile act on the woman, who eventually succumbed to the horrendous wounds she received.

And while the murderous madness involving religious groups continues in Africa with the Malian Ansar Dine, the Nigerian Boko Haram, and al-Qaeda, al-Shabaab and Ansar al-Sharia of Somalia, there was a faint glimmer of hope from Cameroon, with the release of two men who spent a year in jail after being convicted of homosexuality. Apparently they were convicted on appalling evidence: they were seen wearing women’s clothes and make-up.

Yeah, only someone inspired by antiquated religious texts could condemn another human being for something so utterly trivial.

I wonder what these pious prats have in store for us for the rest of the year.

South Africa could do with a woman like this for President

Malawi is practically a neighbouring country, but I had no idea that the new President, Joyce Banda was making such radical changes there. It’s embarrassing; not the changes being made, but my ignorance.

In my defense, I was not expecting anything different from Banda, after Bingu wa Mutharika, Malawi’s former President ensured the Continent’s trend of setting up despots, thieves and madmen in power, until his timely death. Women are as susceptible as men to be corrupt, despotic, thieving and mad.

JOYCE BANDA (Photo credit: Back2Black Festival)

But not this woman it seems. No, Joyce Banda has within months of becoming the new President, made radical changes such as:

1. Getting rid of the Presidential jet which the poor country can ill afford
2. Ditching the cavalcade of expensive limousines that Mutharika used to ride around in like a pompous ass
3. Announced the repeal of laws banning homosexuality, imposed by the bigoted Mutharika
4. Sacked the corrupt police chief favoured by her equally corrupt predecessor
5. Appointed a new cabinet (hopefully one that the country can be proud of)
6. Re-stablished developmental and diplomatic relations with Britain
7. Working with the Bank of En value of Malawi’s currency
8. Refusing to allow Sudanese despot Omar al-Bashir into the country for an AU Summit in July

Joyce Banda provides hope that Africa may yet change radically, and rid itself of the penchant for self-destruction through the selection of dictators and madmen like Mugabe. And the fact that it took a woman to start this change is even more cause for celebration.

One can only hope that South Africa follows suite and ejects these greedy, corrupt, inept, power-hungry lunatics in the ANC from power. One would be even more hopeful that a woman or women accomplish that rescuing act.

Should South Africa trade in rhino horn legally?

South Africa is facing an onslaught from poachers who are decimating our rhino population to satisfy the demand from mainly the Far East [Vietnam in particular], of ignorant people who believe quite absurdly that the horn is some sort of cure for a multitude of physical ailments.

Last year more than 400 rhinos were slaughtered illegally, and four months into this year nearly 200 more have been killed.

The Ministry for the Environment announced today that they are contemplating approaching the international community to lift the ban on trade in rhino horn so that South Africa can sell it legally, in an attempt to disrupt or destroy the poaching business. Reports indicate that South Africa may be sitting on a stockpile of around 20 tons of the stuff, which is estimated to be worth around R 500 000 a kilogram. That’s several times the value of gold.

Like many things in life, the answer is not straightforward and there are both pros and cons.

What do you think? Vote below:

Elections in Africa are free and fair

Photo credit: Wikipedia

I know what you’re thinking. You’re from one of the first world countries.

But it isn’t this: elections on the African continent are free and fair. Free for the politicians who stand for elections because both donors and the taxman is paying for it. Fair to the person or party that wins.

That’s right. And the politicians don’t have to work too hard to manipulate a win either. The people – the majority – are surprisingly pliable. You, from the first world can speculate why. It’s not that hard to figure out.

The winners join an elite body of rulers on the African continent,  the Organization of African Unity, otherwise known as the LAD’s – League of African Despots. You, from the first world will catch them on television every once in a while. They will be in a meeting of sorts, talking about shit that will never happen…. and drinking wine, expensive wine paid for by the voters of the country unfortunate enough to host them.

From Abdoulaye Wade to Mugabe, Mswati, Mbasago, Mosisili, Meles Zenawi, Mohammed VI, Mbeki (deposed), Muammar Gaddafi (dead), Malema (not yet… ruling that is), and all the way to Zuma. I’ll leave you to fill in the blanks. All given power by the people…

What were you thinking? You’re from Africa.

God hates Zimbabwe… and must be a trifle miffed at South Africa too

If the maniac who is currently ruling Zimbabwe is right about God’s intentions for him, and if this deity does indeed exist, then he, she or it must surely hate that country and its people.

The loathsome human in question, one Robert Gabriel Mugabe has been in power for

Image via Wikipedia

more than 30 years, and is steadily transforming it into one humongous Zimbabwe Ruin. And he believes that God has chosen him to protect Zimbabwe from the “marauding imperialists.”

I am lucky God has given me this longer life than others to be with you. I cannot let you down. I cannot leave you on your own.

Now if you happen to be a marauding imperialist, know that God hates you too. Either that, or you’re just a figment of the imagination like this deity that Mugabe holds so dear.

While ordinary Zimbabweans show up as apathetic at best, their only hope at opposition to Monster Mugabe appears to be a bumbling, whiner who seems to be as interested in power for the sake of it, as the incumbent. Morgan Tsvangirai, far from being a threat, actually makes Insane Bob look like a desirable leader.

But the hating does not stop there. Some of God’s ire seems to be focussed on neighbouring South Africa which has been encumbered with a bunch of thieves to run the country, while outwardly masquerading as a liberation movement. And surprise, surprise, these louts who have already turned South Africa into their personal fiefdom, have publicly given their support [for his re-election to President] to Mad Bob Mugabe, so that he can rape Zimbabwe for another five years.

With benevolence like this, who needs the Devil?

Listen up, you oriental berks, rhino horn does not cure cancer

Just over a year ago I wrote about how poachers were decimating South Africa’s rhino population, driving another species towards extinction.

At that time around 210 had been killed already, but the latest figures indicate that the total for 2010 reached a record 333. However, the figures for this year thus far is an alarming 341 animals killed, which works out at almost one a day.

Image via Wikipedia

And it’s all for feeding the ignorant oriental belief that rhino horn cures cancer among other diseases.

The biggest culprits driving the killing of rhinos for their horns remain Vietnam and China. It appears that their respective governments could not be bothered in the least to implement measures to curb the trade in rhino horn. One wonders if the ageing Commie despots running these countries, are not indulging in rhino shavings themselves, to prolong their tenure in office, dealing more misery to their people.

It’s a scandal that a magnificent beast is giving up its life, not to sustain human life as livestock do, but to sustain a delusional belief system.

So listen up! Stop being yellow monkeys! If you’ve got cancer, go to a fucking doctor for treatment, or die with dignity. Don’t be grasping at horns. Let the beasts be…

Let’s hope not…

Could it be possible that Muammar Gaddafi is on his way South looking for asylum in South Africa, and Julius Malema is heading North escaping prosecution for grand theft?

I most certainly don’t want that deranged tyrant living in the same country as me, nor do I want that fascist thief escaping the punishment that’s his due…

© 2011 Zapiro (All rights reserved)

Printed with permission from www.zapiro.com

For more Zapiro cartoons visit www.zapiro.com

 

Be inspired…or just roll on the floor and laugh your ass off

The ANC Youth League believe that they’re “an inspiration around the world.” Or at least the former Deputy President of the League, Andile Lungisa seems to think so.

In this video he regales us with the supposed achievements of the ANC Youth League (ANCYL) which are matter-of-factly claimed to be the inspiration for youth on the African continent and even around the world. There is no doubt as to Andile’s sincerity when he makes the sweeping statements he does; he really does believe what he is saying. The evidence however is so totally lacking.

He goes on to tell us how under the leadership of Julius, they have managed to “put the bar up.” [00:29]. Now this I can believe. Under Julius, the bar has most certainly been put up – nothing but Johnny Walker Blue and varieties of other single malts will do for our inspirational youth leaguers at their many gatherings which turn into parties. Oh no!

If however, like me, you can see past the moving lips, you’ll find that the ANC Youth League does indeed inspire one – to get a real education and have as little to do with these louts as possible.

Drop Everything and Read…DEAR

Today, April 12 is Drop Everything and Read Day, or D.E.A.R Day.

I heard about it on local radio this morning, but it doesn’t seem to be an international event. It appears National D.E.A.R Day is commemorated annually in the USA to remind and encourage families to make reading together on a daily basis, a family priority. It’s celebrated on 12 April each year to honour American author Beverly Cleary who wrote many books for children and young adults.

Setting aside a day for encouragement of reading is a marvelous idea, and should be celebrated internationally. The statistics for literacy in South Africa is appalling and I’d venture to assert that the figures for the rest of Africa is not much better, probably worse. So any initiative to improve these statistics should be seized upon and disseminated widely. Sadly the government in South Africa seem set on a path to diminish the standards of education further and further each year and need constant reminding about their inanity.

However, the rest of the world should consider themselves lucky to not be governed by dodgy miscreants; so grab yourselves a book and get stuck into a few chapters. But for the love of literacy, please let it not be the Bible or the Koran or the Bagavad Gita or any other religious text. Please read something that imparts at least some intellectual enlightenment, not useless dogma.

Now that I’ve done my bit for R.E.A.D Day, I’m off to complete the last few chapters of The Form of Things by A.C Grayling…

Oh, yes please! Uganda can have him!

As the world’s superpowers debate the future of Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, it appears that some may be amenable to him stepping down and seeking exile.

While Gaddafi has been mouthing off publicly about his intentions to stay and fight to the end, I’m certain he’ll run with his tail between his legs for the first safe destination his ill-gotten gains will allow him, just like cowardly despots tend to do.

Popular exile destinations for the world’s evil tyrants are Arab, African and South American countries. Annoyingly, South Africa features on the list of countries willing to grant political asylum to the scum of the earth; particularly nasty douchebags who are supportive of the vile shenanigans of our own nasty government.

But it now appears that President Yoweri Museveni of Uganda, having a similar penchant for clinging onto power, would be quite agreeable to welcoming Gaddafi into the country, saying

Whatever his faults, he is a true nationalist.

I prefer nationalists to puppets of foreign interests.

This is good news for South Africa. We won’t have to host another lunatic former leader [and his equally deranged sons] at taxpayers expense. Uganda can have the bastard, and as many others as they want.

Hopefully, our covetous President won’t get it into his foggy head to make a counter-offer to the Libyan to pig out in South Africa instead, in the hopes of gaining a bit more material wealth; and some pointers to hanging onto power.