Carry on rewardless

management

This is a rant in disguise. Any resemblance to known Companies and people are purely coincidental. Names and places have been deliberately omitted to protect the scoundrels from embarrassment, and more importantly, my ass from getting fired.

Executives are generally a spineless bunch. They remind me of puny trees swaying in the wind of knee-jerk decisions from above. They surround themselves with a handful of competent, diligent workers who swim in a sea of useless assholes who do little more than show up at work. Executives also arm themselves with hordes of statistics gatherers who are adept at collecting information about why things don’t work, but are clueless as to how to fix them. They’re usually very adept at manipulating horrible statistics to make it look good to the oblivious jerks above. The only decent thing you could say about Executives is that they’re very good at protecting their own departments, usually at the expense of others.

Managers have the thankless job of taking crap from both above and below. They’re usually damned if they do and damned if they don’t. The really competent ones usually get rewarded for doing a good job, by being assigned more shitty work to do.

The Company CEO is a special asshole. This opportunist type usually takes on a job to firstly look after his own tush and secondly increase shareholder value. He or she will do whatever it takes to make the company profitable in the short-term, which usually lasts only as long as his employment contract – before moving on to tear apart another company. CEO’s are part of a small clique who seem to rotate between companies for very short terms, invariably taking fat severance and bonus cheques while leaving broken employees and companies in their wake.

Ground floor workers usually just show up; a few will put in an honest day’s work, the rest will pass time hoping the few will do enough to make up for their ineptitude or lazyness or both. Some have dreams of moving up the chain, and some eventually do, becoming either the thankless Manager or the assholes above. Those who know people may even make it to the very top of the asshole pile.

And so endeth the rant.